A daily journal on the thoughts, events, and happenings within the lives of those found inside Her Majesty's walls.

Friday, July 14, 2006

My Aging Regret...


So I think I think to much…case and point.

This past week at Veteran camp I had to walk through some very hard teachings. Things that dealt with very charismatic teachings, the ideas of ‘glory dust’, literal visits to heaven, 50k gems falling out of the sky; like I said, very complicated teachings if you haven’t grown up in these circles.

What I found myself thinking after being overwhelmed by such teaching, is what I learned in my first few days in Bible College, “Let God shape your theology, not the other way around.” I have never desired to be the person who doesn’t accept anything because I think it’s too easy to find a flaw in things and criticize them until I’m convinced of my position. But at the same time I do not desire to wholly accept everything that comes down the pipe, because as we all know that would be oh so foolish, because while I wish it weren’t this way, heresy is much too common. So I will wrestle with what took place, but I don’t wish to dwell on that for this post.

One thing that was brought up this past week was the idea of being like a child. It’s in the Bible where Jesus asks us to be like them, but what does that mean? When I think of a child, I see them wholly loving their father, as though he can do no wrong. “My dad could beat up your dad”, “My dad is superman”, “My dad can do anything.” They just want to be abandoned to their fathers will, spend time with him, listen to him talk and tell stories, go for walks. That child would do anything to be with their father. It continues in an all out trust, where the child believe that there can be no literal harm coming to them when they are resting within the arms of their pops. Think about it, can you remember a time when you were sacred and you ran down the hall screaming for your father to come and rescue you form whatever shadow was moving on the wall?

It’s so interesting to think about for my relationship with my Heavenly Father. How often do I have a completely abandoned trust to him? How often do I wish to be apart of his life, doing whatever He asks? I can remember my dad asking me to find him a hammer, and then racing to go find it because he asked me. I like to think of David when he was racing with complete abandoned toward Goliath, knowing full well that his Father was watching out for Him. David was safe in his Fathers arms. What about the time when Moses was on the shore of the Red Sea? Was he not completely consumed, entirely trusting and hoping that his Father would be there for him? I can just imagine being in that vulnerable position on the shore, eyes damp with tears, knowing full well that I needed Him, my Father to help me do this.

I long to be that child again. I want to be in a place where I don’t stop and analyze a situation three different ways before taking the first step. I want to be rushed with excitement the moment my Father asks me to do something for Him. I want to be completely secure in all His promises, wholly trusting anything that is from Him. Father, my cry is that I would be like a child, safe and joyful in Your arms, ready and willing to do all you require with me.

Let’s go for a walk…

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Greg, you speak from the heart. For that I greatly appreciate you and your thoughts.

Ash-Am said...

Wow. I am inspired again. Thankyou for your honesty...your blog has blessed me today.

~Ashley

Nichole said...

Once again you've absolutely mirrored my thoughts. I want a faith that's genuine...and raw. (I've been focused on that last word a lot lately.)

Do you think there's a method of jumping right into this childlike attitude? Can we delve into it all at once? Or does it require deliberation?

Maybe I think too much too.

Sheri said...

Greg ... You are a writer through and through ... have I ever told you that? hmmmm....actually "YES"! I miss you Greg. Really I do. and guess what?!?!??! I am going to see you very soon! Your papa is flying me in for Eston Street Invaders!!! woohooo....parties to be had! YES!!! YES!!! and again I say YES!

Can hardly wait to see you:)

Anonymous said...

Greg you remind me of half dazed conversations at bedtime, and misguided thoughts at campfire while discussion the marijuana twins. Either way, I KNOW that God has His hand in your life and that you are learning, and struggling through these things for a purpose, but you are not alone...


by the way, thank you so much for that letter, I really needed it.
Love you!!!

doxasky said...

That's agreat perspective Greg. Thanks for sharing it. For a moment I thought you were going to talk about how young children rarely accept things as they are, but always have the question "Why?" on their lips. As annoying as that question can get, I hope they continue to question things as they get older.

Enjoy SI!